The Cross We Bear...

His name was Richard.

We first met a couple weeks ago.
He'd just been kicked out of one of the local shelters and made his way to Trinity.

I had been gone most of the morning, but he waited for me at the church. For hours. When I arrived, we talked about some options of other places he could go. I learned that he had burned bridges at one of the shelters big time. He could not return.

I quickly learned why...

Richard was surly. He was tired, and grouchy. He was loud and impatient. He also had some clear health problems and it was apparent he hadn't been able to take good care of himself or keep himself clean and healthy. In a word, Richard was a pain.

But, being a pain doesn't negate one's need of help. So, I gave him some numbers to call (other churches and agencies) and I made some calls on his behalf. I even found a lead for a place to stay for the night for him and gave him what help I could. He'd wanted more. I had no more to give. After he'd lingered at the church for several hours, I told him it was time for him to go. Which he did, reluctantly. Complaining about his mobility, about the bus system in town, and about how no one will help him in this city...

I wasn't sure if I'd see or hear back from him again. 


But I did.

Richard called back several days later from a motel that he was staying at. Some pastor from a local church had helped him secure a couple of nights. The day he left us, he'd ended up in the hospital for a day. Then one night on the floor at one of the shelters and he went searching for money for a motel so that he could get some good sleep. I couldn't blame him. Clearly with his physical and health conditions as they were-- it had to be hard to be on the streets and not be able to rest per doctor's orders.

So he called looking for some help, again. This time for food (he's diabetic and the only food at the continental breakfast at the hotel was sugary, unhealthy stuff) and for help getting his bags which were being stored at the shelter he was no longer allowed to return to. So, I made a couple calls and found a Trinity member who was willing to bring him his bags from the shelter to the motel. These bags had some personal care items and his insulin-- he was VERY grateful to have them back. He told me then that his county case worker had secured a place for him, and that he was hoping to get in the apartment come the end of the week. We were both happy to hear this news.

I didn't expect to hear from Richard again.


 But, I did...

Wednesday I got another call from Richard. He was in the hospital. Again. This time, he had collapsed at the [different] motel he was staying at. Nearly had a stroke the paramedics said. He was banged up pretty badly from the fall. He said everything had fallen apart. The apartment fell through (didn't pass the background check). His motel room was only paid up through Friday morning and then he'd have to be out of there, with no where to go. His mother who manages his social security and disability was refusing to send him any money. And to make matters worse, she never even checked in on him upon hearing that he was in the hospital.

Richard was even more angry. And loud. And bitter. He lashed out at me and at everyone. Some of the time (perhaps most of the times) I knew he didn't mean it. But, nevertheless, it was hard to take his calls, to listen to his rants, and to keep working on his behalf.

I told him that I didn't think I could get in to visit him, but that I would call him at the hospital the next day. But when I called yesterday, he had been discharged and was back at the motel. Back to angry Richard. He was panicked-- what was he going to do? He had to be out of the motel in one day. And had no resources, no options left.

Every idea I had, he shot down. He belittled my suggestions and questioned whether I really was helping him or not. Finally, I let him have it. I told him I was offended by his tone and by his ungrateful attitude. That I was doing everything I could but he wasn't making it any easier for me. Eventually I said I needed to go, but that I would make one last phone call for him. He wanted me to come up with the $250 he needed to stay an extra week in the motel. That wasn't going to happen. But, I knew there HAD to be some place that could help.

So I called a friend at one of the shelters, the shelter that had banned him. She listened as I explained how frustrated both Richard and I were. I told her that I was extremely concerned about his health, that if he didn't find time and space to calm down and rest, that he would have a stroke and would likely end up dead. There had to be a place for even surly, grouchy, angry, impatient, disabled homeless men like Richard. And my friend agreed, though she didn't know if they could let him back in. She agreed to talk with her staff and to get back to me in the morning.

Today, I arrived at church to about a dozen missed messages from Richard. My friend from the shelter had contacted him, but it didn't go well. He was not going to be able to return. He was again frantic. He had just a couple hours til he had to be out. Miles and miles away from any services and without any money. And, to be frank, with no hope and not a friend in the world.

When I called back, I could tell he was angry with me. I had failed him. He accused me and the church of not being Christian, because Christians help people in need. I told him we did help. Lots of churches helped. But that he needed to take responsibility too. I told him I had done all I could, that I had even wrangled a possible second chance with the shelter, but he wasted the opportunity. What was I to do?

What was he to do?

He was at a loss. And he felt let down. So he told me he'd never call again.

It's hard to do what I do some days. How do I reach out with compassion and kindness and generosity, while at the same time advocating for personal responsibility and respect for myself and for others? I know that I gave more time to Richard than anyone else I've seen in the last four months. Yet nothing was good enough.

Because the system is not going to work for a guy like Richard. All avenues were closed, if not permanently than at least for the time being. His anger and frustration are understandable, but they make encounters difficult. Hard to go out on a limb for someone who you don't really like or trust or believe is grateful. And yet, as those feelings welled up in me, I pushed myself to stay with him. I wouldn't be one of the many who abandoned him.

On this Good Friday, I am struck by the irony of this day. Good... what's good about today? Richard would tell you, not a darn thing! The cross, the messy, painful, dark cross... Where all our frustrations, abandonment, anger, selfishness, and fear dwell... today, this week, with Richard, I felt the disappointment of the cross. Of human shame, guilt, and inadequacy.

And today, I will sit with that. I will cling to the cross. Today, hope seems at a loss.

Richard knows that this is true.

But, I dare to believe in hope. I dare to trust that there can be resurrection-- new life and new chances. I pray it for Richard, as I pray it for us all. May the hope of the resurrection find us always in the darkness of the crosses we bear.

Good Decisions

Today was our annual 9th grade "6th Commandment Retreat" (otherwise known as the Sex Retreat)! I think it's one of the most important things we do with the youth-- helping them think through sexuality and how they make their decisions about when and in what context it's okay to have sex.

We looked at Scripture passages, watched video clips from tv shows and movies (Glee and Twilight), and listened to popular music ("Moves like Jagger" and "Just a Kiss") to see the many ways that media influences us when it comes to sex and relationships. We also did activities around what character traits are most important to us in a partner and around gender stereotypes. Most of the activities happened with just the youth, but some happened with their parents at the end. The event is always such a joy-- a blessed, awkward, clumsy, helpful joy...

But one of the things that has stayed with me today is something that guest presenter Becky Hulden said. Becky is a labor & delivery nurse, and she talked very candidly, patiently, and graciously about healthy sex and relationships. Among some of the more colorful things she discussed was the brilliant summation that:

"You can make good decisions, or you can make decisions good."

MAKE:
GOOD DECISIONS............
...........DECISIONS GOOD

She pointed out that most people assume the hardest and most important part of a decision is what happens before and as you make it. In the "making" of the good decision. But, too often we don't realize that what really counts is what we do once we've made the decision. We have lots of power and choice to take any decision we've made, and turn it into something positive or negative. So, even when we don't make a good decision, we can make that decision good in the end.

Such a helpful tool when it comes to relationships. We try to do the best we can to make the most informed choices and decisions we can. But ultimately, we will never make ALL good decisions. Ultimately we make mistakes. But, even so God is working in and through us to help transform us, to help make a way, to help find the joy and hope in any situation. So when we think we've messed up, we can trust that we can always find the good (because we can always find God) in any decision.

I Love You!

Coming in to work this morning, I saw the most beautiful thing. I saw that someone had made a snow angel in front of the steps leading up to our sanctuary. And they'd written in the snow: "I love you."

I love you.

If that wasn't the best evangelism campaign/ marketing slogan I'd ever seen for a church, I don't know what is!

From the voice of God the creator, and the choirs of angels, enter this place and you will hear a truth spoken so sweetly, that you are loved.

All work and no play...

We all know the saying: "All work and no play, makes Johnny a dull boy."

But, not to worry-- we definitely do not have that problem here at Trinity these days! There is lots of play mixed in to our work...

In particular, Pr Rick and I have become quite the partners in crime when it comes to play at work. We have taken to pulling pranks on some of our co-workers and each other. Good, clean fun-- don't worry!

And the thing is, we wouldn't be able to do this, if things at Trinity weren't

good. Solid. If the staff didn't like each other or get along. If there wasn't trust. But, with joy in the workplace comes room for laughter and play.

I think I'd characterize the environment around here lately as: playful, good-spirited, and fun!

In the midst of busy fall schedules, hectic personal lives, and staff transition as Senior Pastor Steve Wold retired, the staff has been able to really enjoy themselves. I have been able to really enjoy myself!

And for this, I am truly THANKFUL!

Luther's Catholic Feud

How much do you know about Martin Luther?
How about Trinity Lutheran Church or small group ministry?

We created this game as part of the reformation party, and it now available to play with your friends and family. The top 25 small group leaders were surveyed. The top answers are on the board. Click the numbers to reveal the answers, or click the boxes to produce a "X"!

Let's play Luther's Catholic Feud!

www.trinitymhd.org/Fued

God, is that you?!

It's been a couple weeks now that we've been reading "Surprise Me." And it has proven to be just as delightful as I'd expected. But, Terry Esau, after 2 weeks into his experiment described in the book the tough question he was dealing with... How do you know which events in your life are of God? Which surprises are God's?

He asked this because of his fear that readers would take his book and turn it into a Prayer of Jabez, prosperity-gospel. He worried that people would see a "trivial train of 'blessings'" and assume that each $5 bill found on the ground, close parking space at the store, and rebate on the big item purchase we were going to make is all a result of God's surprising favor for us.

Is God in the mundane, sure. But we can never be sure what exactly IS or ISN'T of God.

So, what do we do with that?! (It's not very helpful, Mr. Esau!)

He encourages us to trust. To trust that God is in our lives helping us to be the best we can be. Is God there to make our business or bank account flourish? No, but God promises to be there to help US flourish... Living with that kind of trust is hard, though. And it is usually only with hindsight that we truly see which actions and opportunities in our life (however mundane or monumental) were of God.

So, we were asked the question-- which seemingly insignificant moment or event at the time turned out to be life-changing? A part of God's big plan to make us flourish in life and love and joy... Well, as I think back, there are lots of those moments:

• When I was in kindergarten, my parents wanted to sign me up for a summer school "camp;" my choices were like cheerleading or Spanish, and for whatever reason I chose Spanish... that seemingly random decision led to a love of the language which I later studied from 6th-12th grade, brought me to Spain in my senior year, allowed me to take on leadership roles in several mission events in Mexico during college, enabled me to study abroad in Spain and Mexico, minored in Spanish, and helped me use the language during internship where I even got to preach in Spanish. All because of a 6 year old's foray into Spanish one summer!
• While on a youth trip in the mountains in Wyoming, I was partnered to be "tent buddies" with a girl from my grade. She and I weren't exactly friends. But, through the course of the trip, we ended up leaving as best friends and she is one of my closest friends to this day!
• One evening during high school I was driving home with my youngest brother (who was in 8th grade at the time), and we were talking about school, friends, and life. When we got home, we stayed in the car to finish the conversation. We were discussing his plans for high school and future. We didn't know it at the time, but it ended up being a very important conversation-- not only in terms of high school selection, but also for our relationship.

See, God really does use small, singularly "insignificant" moments to do incredible things! Which shouldn't surprise us since God also seems to use seemingly insignificant people to do them! :)

Surprises

During Lent, a group of ladies began meeting for a Small Group "Sampler." Short term commitment, long term impact.

Well, our one-off, short-term group, morphed into another "Summer Sampler." Seems there's something to this relationship, faith-building together thing! :)

We decided that we wanted to gather to talk about where we see God active in our lives. We all shared that life gets busy, and we are pulled in so many directions that it is sometimes difficult to see the surprises God sends our way. So, I offered a suggestion to journey through Terry Esau's Surprise Me, a 30 day faith experiment. In his book, he decided to begin every day for a month with the prayer: SURPRISE ME, GOD! And the book is his observations, ruminations, and reflections. We are going through this book, journaling on our own, and gathering weekly in Bible study and prayer around where we see God surprising us.

Now, I have to admit. I hadn't been as disciplined in the daily reading and journaling as I'd hoped to have been. I went for several days without reading at all. But I kept the words, "Surprise Me" as a refrain, humming along between my conscious and subconscious...

And this may come as no shock, but God was there. Beginning to look for God and paying attention to where God is prompting and guiding has been a blessing. And where have those surprises come? Terry Esau describes it plainly: "What I'm saying is, surprises seem to be largely a product of our contact with people and God." It comes as no real shock that this Incarnate God of ours chooses to surprise us with love, mercy, joyfulness, and hope in and through our relationships with others.

I can't wait to see what the next days will bring, for me and my fellow "Samplers"... how will God surprise us next?