pastor with a pedicure

I got a pedicure today. This is not something I typically do, but I’d been hoping to get one today. On this Maundy Thursday, this day when the Church remembers Jesus washing the disciples’ feet, I wanted to get my feet washed. I recognize that my actions are a bit ironic. Traditionally, the Church has recognized this as a day when Jesus gives us the command to "love one another" as he has loved us. (John 13:34). "Maundy", after all, comes from a Latin word meaning mandate or command. Traditionally, this has been a day when we in the church think about self-sacrifice and service. Followers of Jesus Christ are invited to consider how loving others is a central task of our lives. We receive a command to care for others and to love as Jesus loved. We are called to action for the sake of one another.

Yet, I also think Maundy Thursday is about experiencing God’s love for us. This is where my pedicure comes in. Jesus’ actions showed extravagant love towards his disciples. He became a like servant to them, caring for them in big ways. He graciously loved them. As I got my feet rubbed and scrubbed, I was reminded that God loves me very much. During my seminary training I was constantly reminded that in order to care for others, I first need to care for myself. The same goes for all of us. It’s okay to take time to love and care for ourselves. True, Jesus probably didn’t file down calluses or paint the disciples’ toes a pretty shade of pink, but he did love extravagantly. So today, even as I hear a command to love and care for others, I am also reminded of God’s love and care for me. I’m reminded that it’s okay for me (and all of us) to take time to love and care for ourselves. In the coming weeks, I’ll think of this every time I look down at my pretty pink toenails!

posted by Emmy

falling down and getting back up

Starting out on a walk at a park the other day, I noticed a child cross-country skiing up a small hill. Looking over a second later, I saw skis flailing in the air. I heard him calmly call, “Dad, Dad…Mom, Mom.” Making my way around the hill, I saw two adults some distance off. I figured the child must be okay. Going further, I saw him lying on the ground. His head faced down hill. He lay seemingly helpless like a turtle on its back. The boy’s skis continued to flail around, moving back and forth the in the air. “Dad, Dad…Mom, Mom” he called again. I chuckled at the sight before me.

And then, I started thinking. This is me: How often in my life do I cry out to God, “Dad, Dad…Mom, Mom…Help me. I’m stuck. I don’t know how to get up and get out of this situation.” Sometimes, I struggle with how to approach a ministry task in the church. Other times, I struggle with my own prayer and devotional life. The easy answer seems to be to sit and call to God, “Dad…Mom…Help me. I’m stuck.” I might even sit and mope for a while. Often in those moments, as I call out I feel like God isn’t responding. I feel that that boy lying seemingly helpless in a pile of snow.

Yet, in my better moments, I know that God is with me. The parents of that boy knew that he was fine, that he could probably get up on his own. With a little effort, with a little creative thinking, he would be able to get on his feet again. More often than not, I am able to deal with the struggles in my own life. With a little effort, with a little creative thinking, I will be able to get back on my feet again. God is with me, even if God doesn’t always intercede in the ways that I think God ought to. Sometimes, I just need to make an effort, to trust that God has gifted me and to get back up on my feet again.

How about you?

posted by Emmy

Sharing 'Doubt'

Yesterday I finally got around to seeing the movie 'Doubt' (it's at the cheap theater now - this is good). I was drawn to this film for obvious reasons - it's about a church, is critically acclaimed, and features fantastic actors: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, & Amy Adams.

I recommend it. If you are at all interested in religion or stories that deal with moral ambiguity, then it will give you a lot to think about.

In the film there are several short clips of sermons given by Father Flynn (Hoffman). In the first, he talks about the way that hardship and shared experiences of fear and doubt bring people together. At the time of the film, the people had recently experienced the death of JFK, and he cites that as an example of the way that being unsettled together can form bonds that are hard to break.

Then, throughout the film, you watch doubt and fear tear a church community apart.

This begs the question: do our doubt and fear bring us together? or do they drive us apart?

I think it's both - either one - depending on how we use these things.

When we share our suffering, listen deeply to each other, and create safe space where we can share our feelings honestly, even about unsettling things like doubt and fear - then these troubling things can bring us together and make us stronger.

Instead, too often, we take our doubt and fear and hide them. We pretend to be sure of ourselves and certain of all kinds of things that we cannot ever truly know. And it can drive us apart.

My hope for the church - for Trinity and the church at large - is that it will be a place where we can share our doubt and fear with each other. I hope that we will ask each other how we're doing and take the time to listen, even when the answer is disturbing. And I challenge myself to be more open with my own doubts and fears.

Before I go, a disclaimer: I'm hesitant to recommend movies that criticize the church w/o acknowledging what a wonderful, world-changing place it can be. & I'm hesitant to recommend movies that criticize the Catholic church among Lutherans who can be a little too critical of Catholics in the first place So take the film with a grain of salt...

Enjoy the show! And let me know what your reactions are - I'd love to chat about it.

posted by Marsha.

a holy experience

Sunday Morning: The Word of God was proclaimed. Babies were baptized. Communion was shared. I believe God was present at worship Sunday morning, it just didn’t feel like it to me. Most Sundays, even in the midst of leading worship, I’m able to worship at least in some way. I am able to feel God’s presence in some way. Sunday morning was not one of those days. Rather, I found myself distracted and worried about what was going on around me. Is the sermon going too long? Will the children knock over the Paschal candle during the Baptism? Am I going to run out of bread at Communion? These questions and other concerns ran through my head, keeping me from experiencing God in worship—keeping me from having an experience of the holy.

But, thankfully, I believe God isn’t confined to the walls of the church building.

Sunday Afternoon: God met me in a gymnasium (albeit converted into a recital hall) as I listened to seventy singers clothed in blue. The music I experienced during a choir concert washed over me and filled my soul, as only a Holy Spirit thing can do. Some of the music was familiar—old hymns in classic, rich arrangements. Other pieces were new to me. They made my foot tap in joy. I felt a smile come to my face as a deep male voice broke through the melody, as a high soprano voice sailed above the choir and as a brief sacred silence filled the air at the end of each piece. To try to describe my experience beyond this almost seems futile. After all, it was I believe an experience of God—an experience of the holy.

Thankfully, God meets us in all sorts of ways and in all sorts of places.

posted by Emmy.